En el New York Times de hoy, los crítcos top de la sección de cine, Manhola Dargis y A.O. Scott, excriben una serie de memos con tips para mejorar la oferta de Hollywood. Los tipos son brillantes y sus sugerencias suenan particularmente bien a principios de mayo, cuando estamos a punto de ser invadidos por los blockbusters del verano.  

03darg_500

 

La foto da una idea de por dónde van. Les copio aquí los memos que me parecieron más elocuentes, simpáticos y/o iluminados.

Para ver la nota completa (que vale la pena), click aquí. 

Memo 1

To: The Internet

Cc: Hollywood

From: A. O. Scott

People really like movies. In theaters. On TV. On DVD. Whatever. We don’t mind paying for them, but we like to see them without too much trouble or inconvenience or confusion. It would be nice to be able to see some on our iPods or our computers. It might even be the best way for specialized, uncommercial movies to reach us. Can you come up with a business model to make this possible, while also ensuring that the artists and producers can make a living? When you figure something out, kindly forward it to the music, newspaper and publishing industries. Thanks!

Memo 2

 

 

To: Heads of production, Sony, Universal, Paramount, Fox, Disney

Cc: Joe SwanbergAndrew BujalskiGreta GerwigAaron Katz and all their FacebookFriends

From: A.O.S.

You all keep trying to make Rock Hudson-Doris Day-style romantic comedies with the golden guys and gals of the moment, and the results are sexless, subtextless, bland career-girl-in-search-of-Mr.-Right retreads. Meanwhile, a bunch of hungry directors with digital cameras, time on their hands and not much money are making free-form studies about tentative hookups and long conversations among actual, overeducated, undermotivated young folks.

Memo 3

 

To: Filmmakers, especially under 40

From: Manohla Dargis.

The tripod is your friend. Few filmmakers can pull off florid handheld camerawork because most aren’t saying all that much through their visuals, handheld or not. (Also: Shaking the camera does not create realism.) Though it’s a cliché of contemporary cinema, fiction and nonfiction both, handheld camerawork that calls aggressive attention to itself tends to make empty images seem even emptier. If you want us to notice your cinematography, make sure you have something to say, like the French filmmaker Olivier Assayas (“Demonlover”), whose restlessly moving images convey a searching intelligence. He isn’t just waving the camera around; he’s saying something about the world and the people in it.

Memo 4

 

To: Anxious studio heads

From: A.O.S.

Did you notice the last election? People paid a lot of attention, took sides, argued back and forth. As they had, come to think of it, for much of the previous eight years. And yet so many of your “serious” movies tiptoe around areas of real public concern, trying to be vaguely topical while strenuously working to avoid offending anybody. As a result, nobody bothers to go see them. So why not risk troubling the waters a little bit? A lot of the audience likes to argue about movies and also about politics. Why not feed that appetite instead of suppressing it?

Memo 5

 

To: Members of the Writers Guild of America

Cc: M. Night Shyamalan

From: A.O.S.

You may think that slipping a doozy of a third-act surprise into your screenplay — a shocking twist that no one could possibly see coming — might make you look smart and the audience feel dumb, but please consider that the reverse might actually be the case.

Memo 6

 

To: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

Cc: Every actress in Hollywood

From: A.O.S.

Calories: please consume more of them. Also, fire your personal trainers.

Memo 7

 

To: Scott Rudin

From: M.D.

Good call on taking your name off “The Reader.” BTW, weren’t those Nazi hottie ads that the Weinstein Company ran juxtaposing the word sexy with a bare-shouldered, come-hither Kate Winslet super tacky?

Memo Final

 

To: Hollywood

From: A.O.S. & M.D.

Yes, green is good. But there is no ecological benefit in recycling intellectual properties or in treating pop-culture treasures like so much scrap material. Let us read our comic books and watch our DVDs of old movies and television shows and try to capture our imaginations with something new. So, enough with the serial killers (unless you’re David Fincher); period dramas; movies in which children die or are endangered; (bad) literary adaptations; superhero epics; tween-pop exploitation vehicles; scenes with bubble-breasted women working the pole in strip clubs; shady ladies with hearts of gold; Google Earth-like zoom-ins of the world; sensitive Nazis; sexy Nazis; Nazis period; dysfunctional families; dysfunctional families with guns; suburban ennui; suburban ennui with guns; wisecracking teenagers; loser dudes scoring with hot women who would never give them the time of day even if they were drunk out of their minds or too young to know any better (hello, Judd Apatow!); feature films that should have been sketch comedy routines; shopping montages; makeover montages; bromances (unless the guys get it on with each other); flopping penises; spray-on tans; Kate Hudson; PG-13 horror remakes; or anything that uses any of the “classic” songs that we are sick of hearing. What’s left? We don’t know. Isn’t that your job?

 

Con que hicieran caso a la mitad, nos mejoraría la oferta tantísimo. Vuelvo a ponerles el link a la nota completa, por si no están de acuerdo con mi edición de los mejores.

También pueden dejar sus propios memos, hay algunos del público que son interesantes.